Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
