i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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