that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
