I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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