My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
