do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
