So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
