There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
