put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
