dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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