she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
