found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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