i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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