I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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