i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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