Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
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