I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
