you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
