this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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