I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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