the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
