I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
