I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
