he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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