oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
