wakey wakey hands off snakey
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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