i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
well you can't waste a boner
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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