So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
