He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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