i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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