dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
