I'm laying in your front yard are you home
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
