I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
