BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
