i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
