I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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