need another drink. this is the easiest way
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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