She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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