and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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