i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
