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Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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