i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
