Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Two words: blizzard sex
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
