so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
