Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
