He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
