I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
