worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You need a sexual gate keeper
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
