North Korea, Best Korea!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
