Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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