and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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