Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
