you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
